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Attraction and Evolution
Do you sometimes wonder why some men have many beautiful women in their lives?
If a guy like that isn’t very good looking then you probably wonder how he does it! Let’s talk about about an explanation for this phenomenon...
The answer, my friend, lies in evolutionary biology. The thing is, evolutionary programming for men and women is quite different.
When it comes to attraction men are "programmed" to be oriented purely on looks. Looks are basically the outer signs of fertility, so we base our judgment almost completely on that factor. This is probably the case for 99% of all men.
Us men decide within milliseconds whether we are physically attracted to a woman or not.
For women, this is completely different. In prehistoric times, there were no sexual advantages for women in choosing a mate based on physical appearance alone.
Evolution and the female perspective
Women were more likely to survive if they were attracted to emotionally healthy men. Men who were dominant, confident and exuded charisma. So they looked at the character of a man. Whether he was a loyal man and whether he could take care of her or not. Money, status and power are important assets but not necessarily requirements. You should bear in mind that it’s not like you can’t have success if you don’t have all of these traits. This is because each woman is different: hey, we’re talking about people here, not robots!
However, in general these were the things that triggered attraction in women, back in the caveman times... but it still holds true today.
Now, it’s impossible for a woman to determine whether a man has these qualities within seconds, it takes her a little longer.
Let's say that most men who meet “woman X” all start from the same “attraction baseline”. Obviously, one man may have an advantage because of his appearance, but remember that for most women is not a decisive factor. Other qualities however, such as character, are.
So when “woman X” meets these men and gets to know them individually, she can become attracted slowly and gradually depending on what kind of personalities the men possess.
Actually, what we as men already know in a few milliseconds (whether we could have sex with a woman or not) takes a lot longer for a women to decide. Again, there are always exceptions. Some women respond purely to looks. Others are only attracted by and status. For most, it’s a mix of many factors.
The lesson from evolutionary psychology
The main lesson to be learned here is that when you have a great personality, over time a woman will always find attractive qualities in you. Attraction is natural. Put any man and any woman in room for a week and there will be some attraction.
So, if you have developed a cool personality, it will create natural attraction. Give the both of you some time to discover this. Help her discover this by gradually escalating. In this way, you will use evolution to your advantage.